


My scars run deep

by BrokenSymphony



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Dark, F/M, Gen, Implied Katara/Zuko (Avatar), POV Azula (Avatar), Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25428715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenSymphony/pseuds/BrokenSymphony
Summary: Azula was born lucky and I was lucky to be bornHow much true it is on the surface and a farce if dug deeper?Sad mad ravings of a broken sister about herself and her older brother.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A little snippet is written. I was really moved by some of the fictions written about the fire nation siblings and penned this down. It is more emotional and less logical but I hope it is still beautiful even in bits and pieces.

Azula was born lucky, and I was lucky to be born

Azula was magnificent and lethal, like the blue flames that burst through her slender fingers. She was the epitome of fire nation's grace and intellect. A fire bender like her is born once in a century. Yet, her mother fanned over her pathetic older brother like he was some rare jewel to be cherished. It was like little shards to her heart, barely poking her, scratching the surface, but hurting nevertheless. 

Azula basked in fire while Zuko burnt. Agni blessed her with skill and precision while he condemned her brother to struggle and scatter. She was a princess and he was her shadow. 

Her father's eyes gleamed with pride when she performed fire bending, like a beautiful deadly dance, and the entire crowd would go in awe of her perfection. And Zuko would wither and fade in the light she casted. He would lurk in the shadows, face turned into a scowl and watch her, equal parts jealous and mesmerized. 

Each praise showered on her drilled a hole in Zuko's bruised heart, and he would whine like a whipped dog or burst like an unstoppable volcano. Her brother never learnt the art of balance, he was a boy of extremes with a dreamy head and a foolish heart. 

When his shoulders drooped in defeat, her spine would stand straight in confidence. When his eyes were downcast in shame, hers would glimmer with pride.

Azula needed no one, she was fire made flesh, destroying everything in her way and Zuko was a tiny fluttering flame, always needing attention and nurture to keep it alive. 

She bested him at every thing, knocked him down in every training exercise, yet like an oaf he would fight against her relentlessly, his hope to best her was misguided and his attempts futile. 

On a particular day, she whipped him hard in the training yard, the flames scorched his clothes and hit his chest at a lethal angle and Zuko fell down, his face hitting the ground hard and a painful groan escaping his mouth. Azula dropped dead in her tracks, she felt something akin to guilt and worry blooming in her chest. 

Later that night, she visited his chambers and expressed her concern in her own twisted bitter words. Zuko didn't even spare her a glance and it hurt her, deeper than she let on. 

Are you weak, Azula? Like your pathetic mother and useless brother. I despise weakness. Don't make me regret having you too, her father's voice threatened to consume her from inside. 

The little sister somewhere barely alive within the cracks of her slowly dying heart, roared and raved but Azula wrapped a thick blanket of anger around her, burning the last shreds of humanity to crisp. 

Zuko cared even when people mistreated him, and Azula played them like they were tiles of her own convoluted pai sho. The game was hers, so were the rules and Zuko was her favorite card because her brother deserves no less. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another rant about Azula after Zuko's banishment. How she struggled with mixed feelings between ambition and absence of her brother?

Azula stood on the rocks, poised and elegant, the scene unfolding in front of her making her feel a multitude of things. She and Zuko shared a rather fragile bond from the beginning, with them being as different as triumph and disaster and it got twisted and charred as they grew up and grew apart. 

Her imbecile brother, who naively begged their father who despised weakness and mercy with every fiber of his being was leaving, disgraced, scarred and unconscious on a mediocre war ship. 

Everybody thinks he would settle down somewhere away from fire Nation along with their pathetic uncle, hearing his useless proverbs. But Azula knew her brother, he was never one to give up, even the task to return was something of a foolish errand which was slowly becoming a myth. 

Azula was happy, she was going to be the crown princess, soon the first woman fire lord and the most powerful in the history of fire nation. Everybody will bow in front of her while her brother will be marked and haunted by his own demons for the rest of his life. 

Zuko's dream of becoming a powerful bender will remain a dream. Azula was sure, their father had taught Zuko a cruel lesson. If her intuition is right, her brother will probably loose sight of his left eye and his hearing would be troubled too. Suffering will indeed going to be his teacher, not for a brief period but for an entire lifetime. 

The only disconcerting thing was Mai. Her apparently apathetic friend had taking a serious liking to her emotional brother. Azula thought of gaining her unwavering loyalty by being their matchmaker. Zuko would go soft at the littlest of affection, like a naive turtle duck, and Mai was capable of giving that to Zuko with a little push. The plan was set, the wheels were turning and alas, her brother as usual ruined it.

Azula was never out of line, she followed her father's footsteps without failing, faltering. She tried to match him, in strength, skill, and cruelty. Nothing else mattered because she had her father's approval, who no one else in the world had. At least that is what she thought she should feel. 

She felt it to a great extent but her victory felt hollow in her brother's absence. His failures used to complement her victories and they used to taste so fulfilling that she longed to bring her brother back home, avatar or no avatar. 

Their father's distaste for Zuko was a balm to the wounds inflicted on Azula due to their mother's ignorance. When he craved for a parent's attention and love, Azula felt she was not alone in this pain. Their bond though fragile, was unbreakable. It was forged in pain and mutual jealousy. 

She tiptoed into his chamber late in the night and ran a hand along the sheet that Zuko last slept. His warmth was fading from the sheets, so was his presence from their lives. It has been two years since she has hurt him or mocked him. A memory flashed in her mind, of a small Zuko and even smaller Azula, when he was not their mother's favorite child and she was not a prodigy. 

Azula was the first person to see her brother bend, he sneaked into her room one night, forcefully woke her up and procured a small flame in his tiny palms. It was fluttering like a little heart beat and it made her happy strangely. Zuko's smile was infectious, and Azula ended up feeling warmth spreading across her chest.

Azula never felt the same way when she bent fire, she felt powerful, but never happy and warm. Before these nagging doubts rekindled the useless humanity in her, Azula shook them off. 

Her mother is gone. Her father values power and skill, exactly what she had and her brother clearly lacked. She was, is and always will be the winner. 

She withdrew her hand, her eyes turned steel, and her destination finalized. Her brother is going to come home and she was going to enjoy his misery and her victories in equal measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it is still likeable. Please leave a kudos/comment. It means a lot, seriously

**Author's Note:**

> Will keep adding more snippets, touching upon zuko, toph and katara. I will end this meaningfully. 
> 
> Your kudos and comments are the only sources of inspiration.


End file.
